Podcasts and blogs are like bacon and eggs. Spaghetti and meatballs. Wine and cheese. Rob here, co-host of The Psyche-Delic Podcast. With my first blog attempt (in my whole life), I will do my best to pay tribute to these notorious complimentary duos whilst trying to suppress your urge to add on to your already plump midsections. Socks and shoes. There I said it.
Thinking about the hefty (puns for days) significance food has in our lives reminds me of my first end-of-the-world grocery run to Kroger. How bizarre it was to wake up one day and have serious internal turmoil about how many Vienna sausages will keep my family alive from anywhere between two weeks to eight months and um, maybe two years… Or longer. F*** you news stations and your reptilian newscasters. Being the conspiracy guy that I am, I always knew something like this was going to happen eventually… Needless to say, it is all a part of a grand, elaborate scheme that we won’t get into just yet. *Cough* Illuminati card game *cough*. Our world view transformed immeasurably from a peaceful night, spiraling into that dreadful morning when we woke up to hear about the infamous virus that was exponentially seeping its way into our borders. It is almost incomprehensible to think about in retrospect. The disparity of shift in our country’s consciousness ranged from emotionless ambivalence to absolute petrification and was both spellbinding and sad.
I spoke to my mom yesterday whom I love very much, but did she really just say to me that “wearing a mask doesn’t protect you from getting the virus, but only prevents you from spreading it?” C’mon, mom, I thought we debunked that neglect of common sense on like day two. Again, I love you though. I’m tired of talking about masks. Enough about the virus. Sick of it.
By the grace of God, Tina, Aurora (our daughter), and I were presented the opportunity to bail out of the smoggy, densely populated cluster**** of a city known as Dallas, and migrated southeast to the tranquility of the deep country. No more looking at walking FUPAS (also known as “panniculus”) with a mask at Wal-Mart. I can be a real ***hole sometimes, but it’s for the sake of a good joke, not bitterness. Anyways, I’m glad my family’s lives changed from pandemic to podcast. As a child thinking of my future, this is absolutely the most unlikely idiom I could possibly have envisioned to use for my life at age 26. Thank you, Lord, for keeping my family safe and for the many blessings you’ve bestowed upon our lives. Words cannot express my gratefulness but you know my heart. Please cast a shield of heavenly protection on the wonderful people of this world. Keep them safe, sober, connected, and always striving for greatness. Amen.
As I wrap up this random assortment of words, I would like to state that I am not shaming obesity. If you got offended at my plump and fupa jokes, just know that every little thing is gonna be alright. I can be a glutton myself too and also have many other negative addictive behaviors and personality defects. If my words offend you, then let’s level the playing field and boycott every stand-up comedian who’s ever stepped on stage because some of the things they say are utterly reprehensible and I think it’s hilarious. Let’s all make a conscious effort to better ourselves and do it together (at a safe distance), so we don’t have to hate ourselves and blame it on other people.
Speaking of comedians and transgressions, I’ve been listening to Bill Burr’s podcast lately. The stuff that organically comes out of this guy’s mouth on the fly is off the charts hysterical. The disgruntled, always upset about something people, please, stay very far away. He’s definitely my favorite sociopath.
As of today, The Psyche-Delic Podcast just popped up on the U.S. top charts in the philosophy category on Apple Podcasts. Number 127! That’s two spots below the Ayn Rand podcast in under two months. Wow. I’ve never read Atlas Shrugged but what an honor this is. Also, we’re number 30 in Argentina and 87 in Colombia for Society & Culture and I’m very pleased with this. Your supremacy at fútbol and quality of poppy fields is truly a cut above. Find us here: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/id1514349338. This is very exciting and thank you everyone for listening to our podcast! Although at times, we may appear to be narcissists talking about narcissism, everyone on the cast is a compassionate, intelligent, and charismatic individual that genuinely cares about people. We want to evoke a positive influence on society in any way we can and are overwhelmed with joy that our voices are being heard so expeditiously. Thank you all so much for allowing us to be heard and God bless! Rob out.